*Recently Cliff and I have been re-thinking and discussing what help is and what it looks like. This will be the first in our series on searching for the elusive face of Help.
It always starts with a frenzy- flight reservations, accommodation planning, programme preparation, packingpackingpacking… a mad rush, and then off I go. At the end of every mission trip, would the sights and sounds of poverty, reflections on what we did, and the cry to God to deepen that sense of calling and compassion settle within me. Other times, raising awareness or funds would ensue.
This time, however, it seemed as if we had reached a different milestone in our journey in missions. Together with Cliff, we both felt a sense of sobering. This time, we both felt that there was something more to learn, and a need to sit back and watch, wait and pray, rather than go forth and leap, bound and do.
It was uncannily timely for us to receive this video from the man himself, Dr Tan Lai Yong, on the topic of sustainability in community development. Please take fifteen minutes of your time to absorb this fully.
We are all implementers, do-ers, and high achievers. But when we set out to carry out projects, do we put in as much effort to ensure sustainability as we do to kickstart those projects in the first place? Something struck a deep, deep chord when I heard the words, “High expenses kill sustainability.”
This comes at a time when I am learning about microenterprise, and giving people dignity in terms of livelihood, instead of merely imposing projects on them and throwing fish to them. It comes at a time when Cliff and I are both deeply burdened by “black holes”, a term coined by a missionary we know to describe the many programmes and needs in developing communities that consume large amounts of foreign aid without showing signs of true empowerment or long-term sustainability. It comes at a time when we are both asking, “What does help look like?”
God calls us to love and to love the least of these, just as we love Him. And yet, He also says, “The poor shall always be with you.” We are but a drop in the ocean. And sometimes, it almost feels as if God has given us an impossible assignment to do.
The poor shall always be with you. So, now what?
Sometimes, it is overwhelmingly discouraging and tiresome to know that 20 kilos worth of medicines will be used up in a wink of an eye; the medical clinics we set up will only benefit people if they have an ailment around the time that we set it up (just a few days of 365 days a year- most shall have no follow-up); the sponsorship and enrichment programmes we run will only run as far as funds come in. What then?
Sustainability is the answer. And this, as Dr Lai Yong says in his short but powerful video snippet, comes in the form of discovering the local people’s enterprise, nurturing people and developing leaders.
This takes a paradigm shift- from a “me-better” foreigner mentality to a “you”-centred philosophy of humility, respect and partnership. “There are methods, strategies and budgets to ensure and promote sustainability, but sustainability is a matter of heart- not just methods, but motivation.” – Dr Tan Lai Yong
This struck a deep chord in me, because this concept of sustainability not only touched a heartstring of mine in missions, but also in medicine and marriage.
In the same way how many programmes in developing communities eventually die out, or succumb to politics or conflict because of funding issues, monopoly and lack of continuing resources, a marriage can die out and become “un-sustainable” if it depends on “high expenses” to thrive. It reminded me of how I had progressed – when we were dating I struggled (as much as I did not wish to admit to myself) with my then boyfriend being a missionary and not being able to enjoy my idea of Nice dates in Nice restaurants and a fancy proposal. Now, I treasure the simple moments far more- the conversations in little coffee joints sharing our hearts, the satisfying home-cooked meals or heartland memories of hawker centres and walks along the park instead of going shopping in urban jungles, and most of all, the huddles watching rented $4-movies instead of spending much more on watching the latest Sci-fi movies in town.
In both missions and marriage, if you start off with the mentality that all your “programmes” require long-term and high amounts of money, then the stab of non- sustainability will always lurk in the background waiting to strike. Someday, donors will experience fatigue, the people will grow to wonder why they have become followers to learn a western, “more advanced” culture and the community will pass away as you do; In the same way, someday, in a financial crisis, both parties in a marriage will wonder where all the romance in fancy restaurants and expensive gifts went, both will wonder why all the magic in all things glittering and glamorous died out, both will look back and wonder how something which started with so much promise, ended on such a disappointing note.
In our heads, it is always the highest spending investments that we think will yield the greatest results. But just as mentioned in the video, where fancy titles of doctors and fancy medications really have awkward places in developing settings, things of “little value” in the eyes of the world like a simple tear-drop solution, could save thousands, if not millions of lives.
Low costs save lives.
In your relationships and life, what do you spend most on? Do you depend on “nice places” and Nice gifts to sustain your relationship? In the projects that you carry out at work or in community service, do you depend on expensive solutions and “fancy aid”?
There are things we can implement externally to try and result in an inner change. But these methods are usually expensive and not sustainable in the long run. I am learning, that true, and lasting changes begin internally, and these usually cost much less. Less, because sustainability is a matter of heart and motivation, not just methods and programmes.
So I am learning, even as I have been planning surprises for Cliff over the weekend as a prelude to his 33rd birthday this Wednesday, that memories depend on the love of people, the joy in smiles and the touch of hearts, not in the number of “fun activities” I can plan for him or the amount of money I spend on restaurants. In his words, “I just want to spend the day with you. Doesn’t matter what we do or where we go.”
So perhaps we may need to re-think what help is. It may look like money at times (money is essential, no doubt), but it may also look like a smile, a little laughter, a touch of the hand. It may look like things that come for free, but that etch themselves in our memories for eternity, to produce lasting change and bear permanent fruit.
Because ultimately, love and inward transformation… are things money cannot buy.
Our first of two sneaky weekend birthday surprises…
Got Cliff to follow me to my workplace as I said I had to pick something up before going for dinner, when a bunch of friends appeared and whisked us away for a surprise birthday dinner! 🙂