Back at work.

Back at work today after the fanfare of the wedding, people were asking me what it felt like to be Mrs Tam.

I didn’t know where to start. How to tell them I woke up at 6am only to find you getting up with me (you never need to get up that early) to help me with breakfast and give me some moral support for my first day back at work. How to tell them there were tears in my eyes when you asked if you could pray with me before I headed out the front door. How you always take out the trash and fight to do the dishes every night without parading your good deeds. How you set the table and let me cook because I love putting meals together for you.

How to tell them that once upon a time I never wanted to marry and was happy by myself. But now I wake up to skinonskin, now I wake up to time s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d in knowing that your whole life is a second chance, now I wake up to hugs and random things like cut fruit arranged in a circle (i like it pretty), a mug of refrigerated water (i like it cold), chilli flakes next to my plate (i like it hot) and a made-up bed. Now I turn in the night in frustration over some minor stressor only to find your hand holding mine and lips ready to pray and ready to bid me goodnight again.

Goodnight and good morning. Good morning and goodnight.

How did we end up in this place? Was it some miracle that grew like a quiet seed in the field?

And maybe it will all end because this is just the honeymoon period. Maybe, like I always say, because my mind looks for the darkness in things. But maybe it will not. Maybe it will not, like you say, because your eyes search out the darkness to light candles in them.

I didn’t and couldn’t say all of that.

So I smiled and said, it feels very nice indeed, to be Mrs Tam- thank you.