Someone recently wrote me to ask how Points 7 and 8 are different. That’s a great question and I love answering genuine, thoughtful questions like these!
Here goes!
Point 7 (secret affirmations) are parent-to-child words that help shape a child’s sense of identity and safety.
They’re concrete, personal, and spoken directly into the relationship. I like it especially if I can pick out a specific action they did that day and attach it to an attribute I noticed—
For example, I might say—
- “You are deeply loved, no matter what.”
- “Today I noticed you stepped out of your comfort zone to do XX, that was really brave if you.”
- “When we played kite together today, I really enjoyed your enthusiasm and zeal!”
These help a child’s brain answer— Who am I? Am I safe? Am I capable?
Point 8 (prayer) is about anchoring the day in something bigger than us. The repetition and familiar language (like Psalms) create predictability and calm, and also gently form their spiritual imagination — that God is near, trustworthy, and a place of refuge.
We love Psalm 91 and Psalm 16 (especially the NIRV version) because they convey so much safety and trust.
So in short:
- Affirmations build internal identity and emotional safety through relationship.
- Prayer builds spiritual safety and predictability by returning to God together.
They complement each other, but they serve slightly different purposes 💛
You can download our specific bedtime routine here.
But remember, these aren’t prescriptive and might be too long for yr family. We built these over the years and you’re welcome to tailor your own routine and rhythm to your special family in your unique seasons!