When my 7-year old screamed from an insect’s brutal sting deep into her thigh, when my 5-year old burst into tears as we plunged into pitchblack darkness from yet another power outage, a familiar, real-life accusation echoed in my mind, “You’re an irresponsible parent, shortchanging your children’s futures!”
From time to time, I have wondered if by moving to the mission field, that accusation were true.
After all, wasn’t I depriving them of the “elite education system” I myself had been offered? Am I not risking their futures by moving into a land where our housing, work permits and their schooling, aren’t even secured? Isn’t it cruel to remove them from the luxury and safety of all our urban city life has to offer to throw them into this different world?
Yet, I’m learning something new—
At the end of each day, our little ones’ thanksgiving highlights have often surprised me—
“Mama, even though I got stung bad, God did not allow a poisonous insect to hurt me.”
“God showed us a pair of red-billed hornbills.”
“I love learning Swahili from Teacher E!”
As we huddle in the shower using the smallest water pressure so there’s enough hot water to go round, as we try out vehicles that are over 20 years old, as we visit houses on jerky bajajis (tuktuks) over bumpy village dirt roads in search of our new home, I’ve often wondered if I truly have been irresponsible.
But when my 5-year old cups my face with her tiny hands and says, “My best thing today was seeing you watch me play,” when my 7- year old beams when I tell her how proud I am of her for her courage, when they pick out fried grasshoppers as their favorite new snack, I realize, that perhaps, more than all of what I have deprived them of as a mother, God wants me to see what He can gift to them through me & this new season— the gift of presence, adventure & faith.
And to be in awe of how He is growing them in ways unexpected, beyond what the education, provisions and luxury I knew ever could. 💛