Yesterday, after a very tiring tantrum outburst from our 4-yr old, we came together to go over an affirmation- that in spite of all had happened, we believe our children are good inside.
I know it sounds very counterintuitive- wouldn’t this breed further entitlement and reinforce that tantrums are OK?
I used to be skeptical about this approach, but having done more reading around the concept of shame, I could see how my children explode when their shame meter goes up, and it’s when I verbalize that I know they’re good kids having a hard time that we CONNECT again. Their emotions go from dysregulation to becoming more stable.
This takes time, but I believe it’ll be worth it.
