After a terrible series of tantrums over the past two weeks, things really fell apart when our 4-yr old starting throwing objects across the dining table. She was just so upset, refusing to eat, and bawling her eyes out.
For many days, we stopped what we were doing, tried to empathize, validate and connect – but nothing worked.
On one occasion, I was a hair away from spanking, but Cliff and I had decided a while back it wasn’t an approach we wanted to adopt anymore.
But we were at our wits end, truly.
Day after day this happened, and finally breakthrough!
When I shared how important family time was over mealtimes, how her teachers really enjoyed her in school, something clicked. Even though it was probably the same thing I’d been saying for a while.
It showed me- how persisting in our EMPATHY, CONNECTION & VALIDATION may not pay off immediately, but it will.
If you’re a parent who struggles with your child’s tantrums & power struggles over the dinner table, you’ll understand what joy and relief this sight brought to us.
I’m learning, how important it is not to give up on our kids. Their dysregulated behaviors aren’t a sign of their deliberate disobedience, but their need for connection and to be understood.
Sometimes I feel at my wits end, but breakthroughs like this remind me that every minute we spend with our children sitting in their discomfort might be invisible victories we yield later on.
