“You did what?!”
Recently, when Cliff signed up for a triathlon, his first one since becoming a parent, my eyes soured with tears.
“Are you OK? I told you.”
“I know- but I can’t believe you signed up without me.”
I knew my reaction was irrational, disproportionate even. But betrayal cut through my heart.
“I didn’t do anything wrong,” he defended rightly.
But as my tears welled up, he restrained himself, averting what could have been a huge fight.
That evening, lips trembling, I finally found the words to those big, messy feelings— “Triathlon is special to me because it was what helped us find each other. When we became parents, we both gave it up. But now that you’ve moved on, I feel… left behind.”
His thick arms enveloped me in a big hug.
In some way, triathlon saved my life— it helped me recover from my eating disorder. It helped me find Cliff by accident. When I sold my bike to raise funds for a Nepalese girl who needed a cochlear implant, my training buddies splurged on me to buy a particular bike model called “Faith” for me, engraving my name on it.
Because of Cliff and triathlon, I’m a different person today.
That night, in spite of all my fears about not having swum nor biked for 8 years, Cliff signed me up.
“I believe in you. We’re in this together!”
If you, like us, have fallen out and overreacted because of an “irrational” thing, know this- that every conflict is an opportunity to fight, or discover something deeper you never knew about yourselves or each other— that can bring you greater breakthrough.
I hope you’ll always believe in the best of your partner, that he/she is human, that something absolutely innocuous that you’ve done could have triggered something deep in them, and you have the power to walk out together, stronger. 💪🏾
Conflicts have the power to drive us apart or help us discover what matters most to us, together.✨
Thank you for believing in me, Cliff. I love training with you. Happy Valentine’s 💛