“I’m so sorry for being such a bad friend.”
Recently, I’d made a new friend who apologized often, profusely at that, for being such a “bad friend.”
But it was precisely what she said sorry for that made me love, admire and cherish her so much-
– She was, is, present for those around her.
Not one to go on social media, she takes what she calls “forever” to reply to text messages.
“There’s just so much to do in real life when you have real people to love on.”
How well she lives that.
Meeting her came around the same time I met Grandpa Charles in Africa, who said, “My phone works for me. Not the other way around.”
Since then, I’ve learnt to “push back,” create boundaries and maybe even be a bit rebellious.
The bully from university who still bothers me? I don’t need to reply him if he’s just texting to be curious.
The senior who critiques that I’m too busy but emails me late in the night? He can wait till my leave is over.
The truth is- technology was made for us, to better our lives, to enhance our relationships. But from the way we’re living, you’d think we were made for our phones- to be at its beck and call with FB comments, IG messages, emails and WhatsApp messages.
Where’s the fun in that?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with an inundation of messages to attend to, take a deep breath. Breathe. Leave them. Go out for a walk.
If your priorities include accomplishment, then sure, kill every message that comes in. But if your priorities include living a life of presence and peace, then choose to push back. Choose to decide what’s important at this moment. Choose one thing. Choose to live it like it’s Autumn, knowing that you’ll only have this little while to savor. Let the rest wait.
And perhaps, just perhaps, you’ll find yourself becoming that “bad friend” online who might just be the very best kind of human being there ever was.