My heart stood still.
A week ago when I had just arrived from Singapore to Eswatini, I had visited a sprawling missions hospital with incredible facilities.
Inspired and in awe at the founder who started it, I froze when she said, “I’ve seen so many consultants like you come through. Don’t for a second think you can change anything in this dysfunctional place.”
I could have choked.
Days later, I found my head swimming in the heat. Our car was a leaf in the scorching sun, heated to a crisp.
To address the serious health gaps among the elderly, youth and health workers, we had made our way to the countryside to conduct interviews with focus groups to address specific gaps.
“You will do it here.”
“Here?” I asked, my voice lilting.
I looked around. The heat bore down shamelessly.
“We’ll go find a tree.”
I began to doubt myself. Why was I here? What was I doing? Would this amount to anything at all?
It was then that I remembered a quote a friend had sent me only days ago-
“It helps now and then to step back and take a long view. The Kingdom is beyond our efforts. It is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. We plant the seeds that one day will grow. We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.” -Rogelio Prieto
Truly, how different the world’s measures are- it demands productivity when God requires only obedience.
It demands impact, when God requires only trust.
So under the tree in the scorching heat where we spent two hours speaking to at-risk youth from the rural villages, I became who I was meant to be, not a consultant, not a change agent-
– But just a tool in His hand, a child who trusts her Father’s plans.
My role is not to measure the impact of my work. It is merely to trust and obey.
And He will take care of the rest.
*Photo taken with permission
Psalm 131:1-2:
“Lord, my heart is not haughty,
Nor my eyes lofty.
Neither do I concern myself with great matters,
Nor with things too profound for me.
Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,
Like a weaned child with his mother;
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.