It was one of those days.
Walking down the grassy hill back to where I lived, the sudden emptiness of having no one to return to engulfed me.
I choked on tears, willing to hold them back.
I felt alone- close colleagues had to attend to an overseas donor’s visit. My team lead who’d become my closest friend here was forced to clear her leave. Others hustled and bustled, as I disappeared into the walls.
With everyone rushing home to family as I headed back to my hole, heart aching, strangers cat-calling at me down the streets, the “sacrifice,” momentarily, felt too much.
Tell me again, why was I here?
The WHO team from Geneva had given me glowing feedback that very morning for my contributions. Was it not enough?
As I pondered over a recent photo of myself with a group of Rural Health Motivators (RHMs), who really are the Awesome Grandmothers of their Villages, their words came to mind. I’d asked them why they did what they did, even though they were underpaid, overworked, elderly, exposed to disease and the elements… “it is hard work, especially if there is a big river to cross!” said one Gogo (Grandma), eyes crinkling with wrinkles.
“Then why? Why do you do what you do?”
They laughed. As if I were daft because it was so obvious.
“We love what we do, sisi (sister)! We see the change in our world! So that is enough.”
As I savoured those words, my heart began to heal.
No matter what the sacrifice or the cost, this privilege that God gives us to change lives- even if it comes without recognition, even if it is hard or lonely – is reward in itself.
On hard days, would you remember that with me too? That to see our hands change our world, even if just by a little- that is enough.
“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.
They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.”
– Psalm 126: 5-6
