Children are acutely sensitive to being treated equally, but by the time I realized my mistake, it was too late.
A few weeks ago, in preparation for Sarah-Faith to possibly attend kindy mid next year, I ordered a bunny backpack for her for Christmas.
But not for my younger two-year old, Esther-Praise. After all, she wouldn’t need one.
I argued that I had a different gift for my younger one. That my lessons on my loving each of them the same amount but in different ways had been clear enough.
The delayed reaction of an epiphany arrived soon enough- I slapped my palm on my forehead.
What kind of parents buys only one kind of a gift for one of two of their children around the same age? Of course my younger would feel left out. Of course she would want to be feel like a big kid. Even if she had a different gift.
It was a fatal error, the stupidest of its kind.
Any purchase I made now wouldn’t come in time for Christmas.
Yesterday, as a friend came by to visit, she texted excitedly, “I have gifts for the girls!”
I have been used to seeing identical gifts for our toddlers, aged two years apart. How surprised was I then, when I saw her pull out two very different gifts- a pencil case for my older daughter, and a little bee backpack for Esther-Praise!
As Esther-Praise’s eyes widened with glee and signaled for us to put it on for her, I learned that in spite of our inadequacies as parents, our Heavenly Father fills the gaps.
As much as I wonder if my children will know I love them the same, as much as I worry if my stupidity might scar one or both of them at some point in their lives, I am grateful to know- that God is watchful of their heart’s desires. His love exceeds ours as parents, covers our multitude of shortfalls and failings.
Just as He calls each of us by name, He is mindful of each of our needs, big or small, even if it’s as little as a missing backpack for hypothetical school.
He loves you, Esther-Praise.
