It’s the kind of question you don’t want to hear just before bedtime.
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“Mama, what happens when we make mistakes?”
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My lips tighten to hold my tongue which wants to say to my four-year old- Spill the beans. What happened.
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Instead I say, “We try to fix it. And if we can’t, we pray and give it over to God.”
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Silence. “Why do you ask?”
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“I had a dream last night, Mama. I dreamt I broke the hippo cup, like the one I really broke before. I was very sad. Jesus came out of my heart.”
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“He what? Came out of your heart?”
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Obviously, this was problematic theology.
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“He came out of my heart and then he taped the cup. He said it was okay, and that I could even choose a new one- a lion, or zebra or a new hippo. And then He walked back into my heart and I was happy.”
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Silence.
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“Do you ever make mistakes, Mama?”
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“Yes of course, sweetheart. Like when I get impatient with you kids or Papa.”
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My heart sinks. This is not the bedtime conversation I want at all.
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“Like when you and Papa fight?”
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“Yes,” I shift uncomfortably.
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“But that’s okay, Mama. We all make mistakes. You know when a piece of paper is torn, Jesus can fix it back together. He told me so. When you and Papa need to fight, you should use a piece of pencil and paper to help you talk gently.”
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I am flabbergasted.
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There are many times in life I feel I’ve ruined it. It might even feel as awful as “God walking out of my heart.” That’s self-condemnation.
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But Sarah-Faith reminded me today, that mistakes happen. And just like how I wouldn’t blame a child for breaking a cup by accident (though I must admit I have been exasperated with the half dozen animal cups we’ve broken), or failing to walk, perhaps God doesn’t fault us either the way we do ourselves.
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Instead, He works to heal, to mend, to bring about creative restoration and redemption in a dark and dying world. He walks right back into our hearts if we open them up to Him.
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I am learning from my children, that in spite of my mistakes, I can face tomorrow. Perhaps, you can, too.
