Just recently I entertained the thought of throwing in the towel, folding up.
After all, things were getting rough. Our ministry was getting audited intensely, a crucial team member had to leave at short notice, I was getting cross-examined by HR at work for being CEO of a non-profit, even though I don’t earn income there. A loved one developed cancer.
Was it really worth it- me running what feels like 3 jobs (my day job and 2 entities of the non-profit, local and overseas) on one part-time income? Clearly, we also needed a full-time staff and funding.
I was afraid to admit I don’t know how to do some of what I think all “real leaders” should know. I was scared of running the future on empty.
A mentor challenged me, “What is one thing good, noble and honorable that Kitesong Global has done, something worth holding on to?”
I began to tear.
In my journal, I wrote down one word to answer the question.
Later that week, at the frayed edge of a very hard week, a young lady showed up on our doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, a card, tears- thanking us for how Kitesong Global had changed her life, had stopped her from taking her life, had nurtured her into a completely different person from who she was before.
I stood there, stunned, in awe of what God can do with our little broken pieces and flaw-filled leadership.
The one word I had written in my journal was her name.
The truth is- if we look at a snapshot of our valley season or the inadequacies of our abilities, we will always find a reason to fold up and quit.
But friends, God’s work is not so much dependent on your capability or level of delight as much as it is on His heart for people.
If you’re going through a rough time and thinking of throwing in the towel with what you’ve birthed, stop and think- what’s been one thing good, and honorable that has come out of it?
And if the answer is a name, a person, a human being created in God’s image – a life changed is all the reason you need to keep going.
Hang in there- even if you can’t see it, He who started a good work will see it to completion.
If you might be keen to serve at Kitesong Global through a paid opportunity as my Executive Administrator, or know someone who might love to, please drop me a note here.
