*This post may also be found at: http://missions.cscc.org.sg/true-freedom/
“There is so much self-chosen service.
We say, ‘I think I will do this and that for God.’
Unless we work for God in accordance with His supernatural call,
we shall meet havoc and disaster and upset.
The moment the consciousness of the call of God dawns on us,
we know it is not a choice of our own at all;
the consciousness is of being held by a power we do not fully know.
I chose you (John 15:16).”
– “So I Send You, Recognizing & Answering God’s Call to Service”
by Oswald Chambers
Arriving in Africa again feels like a miracle.
As we both sat outside what is now our humble house, overlooking the sunrise peeking out a hill, having a simple home-made breakfast of bread and fresh avocado after a morning run, we were overcome with awe and gratitude.
the sunrise from our home
Just a year ago, we were gripped by God’s increasingly clear call on our lives, shaken by what would happen to our careers, and what we would do and where we would go when we heeded His call; just four months ago, we were caught in a serial chain of farewells in our workplaces and communities in Canada and Singapore, not even knowing where our next home might be; just a month ago, thrown in a frenzy of packing up our lives into 3 suitcases, we wondered if we were crazy.
Right there, under a canopy of blue skies and an orchestra of bird songs, under the glorious sunshine in refreshingly cool weather, I turned to say to Cliff, “I feel so… free.”
Upon hearing this, he chuckled, “Free? That’s so funny cos we are on a GATED COMPOUND!”
He was right. We now live on a hill, on a compound of a public health institute which empowers and treats communities with HIV, where I am volunteering part-time as a medical doctor. Downhill, at the tall, heavy gates, are a line-up of guards armed with guns. Two months ago when we had done a recce trip to Uganda, I remember one of the Ugandan pastors, Ps Mukisa, asking us, “When you find your new home to stay in, do you want a guard with a bow and arrow, or a guard with a gun?” If it weren’t for his straight face, I would have thought he was joking!
Back then, our search for a home during our term of missionary service came to nothing. I remember telling Cliff, no way would I want to stay in the public health institute- it felt caged-in, and altogether imprisoning. I wanted to stay in a different house we had seen, which we eventually passed up because hiring a guard and all the other expenses that came with maintaining a house in Africa was too costly.
But now, here we are in this “caged place”, enjoying the glorious sun-scapes and liberatingly cool breeze, thanking God for even preparing this place of freedom for us in advance.
Yes, we are on a secure, gated compound with patrolling guards, day and night. Ironically, it is precisely so that we feel so free and at ease. In the early mornings and late evenings, we go for jogs or walks, without fears of getting robbed or harrassed.
It was then, that an amazing spiritual parallel dawned upon me: so many of us complain inwardly that following God is hard work- why are there rules to follow and His voice that we must obey? Why can’t we do what we desire and have all the freedom we want? Little do we know that this self-sought freedom outside God-given boundaries ultimately leads to havoc and self-destruction, locking us into anguished captivity. But yes, in the “limitations” of our Father’s arms and embrace, that is where we experience most freedom, joy and peace.
It amazes us, to constantly see how this is a place God has prepared for us. It is not perfect for sure, lacking in what we take for granted back home. But it is in a strategic location, near the local pastors’ homes, and near the Bible School and local church where Cliff will be teaching and preaching at.
Cliff preaching at a little village church
( it is considered rude not to dress your very best!)
It amazes me, how the very specific work that this public health institute requires me to do, so closely dovetails with what I have been trained to do in my niche area of work in the past 1.5 years at my previous workplace. God knows what I am fitted for, more than I do.
It amazes us to see, how so many details of our new home have been unexpectedly fulfilled prayers. The hospitality of the local people in this gated compound has made adjusting to life easier, freeing us to work, minister and live more freely.
If we had ignored His call because we wanted to roam the world on our own or seek our own academic and career goals, if we had been bent to have things our way, would we have ended up in Africa, or at this cosy place where we now call our home?
He knows our needs way before we articulate them, though He longs for us to ask Him.
He knows the freedom and liberation we desire, though He gives them freely to us only in His arms.
Are you struggling to hear His voice because of self-chosen service? At some point, we have all been guilty of saying, “I want to do this and that for God. I want everything to be significantly from God. What He calls me to do must be gilt-edged and told to me in star-dusted glory.”
But when we choose to surrender, above all the freedom and space that this world has to offer, to come into full, conscious allegiance to Him…
… there, in the security of His arms, shall we find it to be the most liberating place to be.
Us and the village children at church