Blessings in Opportunities.

They were a hard crowd. Or at least they seemed so, at first. And not for undue reason, I suppose. After all, these were parents from families of disadvantaged backgrounds. Struggling with financial, marital or parenting hardships, what did a young person like myself have to offer them? In the first place, I was surprised at the crowd. Faced with practical hardships of life, why would these parents who were struggling to stay afloat, take time off on a Saturday afternoon to attend this parenting workshop and Book Bus project with their children, in a humble facility of a family service centre?

 

 And no, there weren’t any free goodie bags or a free buffet spread as incentives.

 

When I was asked to share on the topic of “Books, Creativity and Imagination” to a group of parents from families of disadvantaged backgrounds, as part of a Book Bus project initiative and Parenting Talk Series co-started by Sembawang Family Centre and Covenant Community Methodist Church, I was excited. This little event would bring books appropriate to the profiles of the parents and their children and encourage them to start home libraries and inculcate the habit of reading from a young age. With this request coming from my publisher, who also happens to be the chairperson of the Speak Good English Movement in Singapore, I knew that this was part of a bigger picture to share the joy and benefits of reading as well.

 

I was informed to share about the impact books had on my creativity and imagination, and the impact they made on my life, using my three books as talking points, while my publisher would concurrently hold a “no-holds-barred”, “no-good-or-bad” free-flow painting session, where the children would be encouraged to paint freely and expressively, after watching a video of one of the works of Eric Carle (famous children’s book author who wrote and painted the perennial favorite “The Hungry Catepillar”) entitled “The Artist who Painted a Blue Horse.” At the end of the event, parents and children would then be able to select three books of their choice for reading, encouraging them to make considered choices, as in the previous Book Bus session.

 

I was stumped at first. The parents’ faces were sullen, closed even. Most could understand English, but many were comfortable replying only in mandarin, or a mix of malay and English. When I asked questions, the audience was fairly quiet and restrained. Even though I had spoken many times at churches, schools, and large companies, this put me out of my comfort zone.

 

But as I shared about my life story, their faces lightened up. As I shared about my experience as a young child being encouraged by my parents’ to draw and paint and create, and the painful coming-of-age discovery of being taught that “art would not put rice on the table (a Chinese proverb for saying that it would be a passport to poverty, if taken as a career), their eyes connected with mine. I showed them pictures I had drawn as a child and the harsh comments my art teachers had given me, in comparison to the positive praise my parents lavished on me, which spurred me to keep at it. As I shared about how art played an unexpectedly big role in my life later on- first raising funds to build a children’s home through my first book “Kitesong”, then helping me to recover from depression and anorexia and culminating in my second book “A Taste of Rainbow” to raise awareness of depression and youth issues, then a third book which was launched alongside our wedding and built a guest-house project in Cambodia to free and equip women once trapped in sex-trafficking with new skills… and now a fourth book… their hearts opened and they, too began to share freely. They loved the Kitesong video.

“Who would have thought such a ‘meaningless’ hobby would be meaningful later on? I am so grateful to my parents who encouraged me so much to do what I enjoyed.

You have the Power to touch your child’s life too.

The fact that you are here today tells me how blessed and privileged your children are.” 

 

  Myself showing them an artwork I did as a 13-year old, only to have my teacher write,

“You should add a tinge of blue.”

It was my parents’ encouragement and their continual support for me that kept my passion burning strong.

 

 

This crowd was different. They were very special. In fact, they were probably my most memorable crowd. At the end of the talk during the Q&A, the parents asked me some questions, some in mandarin and some in malay, mostly encircling the topic of parenting. “I have no children!” I exclaimed. But somehow, I knew that the child psychology modules and parenting courses I had been doing on the side had a purpose. And I shared with them the importance of giving children to space to create, to imagine, and to punish only when necessary, but to catch moments to praise them. I found myself saying to them and to myself, “Give your children the space to become who they are called to be.”

 

At the end of the session, the parents came up to thank me personally. One said to us in mandarin, “What you shared with us has inspired us greatly. Thank you… we were very touched.” The older couple then went on to share about their three children, aged 17, 14 and 5, whom they said they had some trouble parenting and would often resort to the cane, but were now very encouraged to continue to look for opportunities of praise, to encourage their children to pursue their interests in design in polytechnic, and their youngest son to carry on painting and expressing himself.

 

As Cliff and I walked to the train station, we met more parents along the way in this quiet heartland district away from the busyness of the city, who stopped us along the way to thank us specially. They were so full of gratitude, so filled with encouragement. And that touched my life. It touched me because this talk was starkly different from the other more “glamorous” talks I am used to giving for work or otherwise, which are often to large, privileged audiences in a swanky hall or over-priced reserved venue. The people were humble, looking for something more in life. Having faced hardship, their hearts were open to listening, and they were willing to try their best, in spite of their challenges, to give the very best they knew to their children.

 

At the end of the session, I felt more blessed in return. As I walked next door to take a sneak peek at the children busy painting, I was touched by this humble heartland facility, which impacted so many precious lives.

 

At the end of the session, the parents came up to thank me personally. One said to us in mandarin, “What you shared with us has inspired us greatly. Thank you… we were very touched.” The older couple then went on to share about their three children, aged 17, 14 and 5, whom they said they had some trouble parenting and would often resort to the cane, but were now very encouraged to continue to look for opportunities of praise, to encourage their children to pursue their interests in design in polytechnic, and their youngest son to carry on painting and expressing himself.

 

As Cliff and I walked to the train station, we met more parents along the way in this quiet heartland district away from the busyness of the city, who stopped us along the way to thank us specially. They were so full of gratitude, so filled with encouragement. And that touched my life. It touched me because this talk was starkly different from the other more “glamorous” talks I am used to giving for work or otherwise, which are often to large, privileged audiences in a swanky hall or over-priced reserved venue. The people were humble, looking for something more in life. Having faced hardship, their hearts were open to listening, and they were willing to try their best, in spite of their challenges, to give the very best they knew to their children.

 

At the end of the session, I felt more blessed in return. As I walked next door to take a sneak peek at the children busy painting, I was touched by this humble heartland facility, which impacted so many precious lives. 

 

One little boy in a striped shirt was crying because he thought his painting was so ugly. But after he was given non-critical encouragement ( my publisher literally said, “Wow, this is fantastic-it looks like a birthday cake!” and pinned his rough-work of black lines and an orange spot on the whiteboard for all to admire), the boy soared. Unbelievably, he painted a beautiful piece of art of the solar galaxy as his next artwork. Such is the power of praise and positive encouragement.

 

Recently, frustrated at still struggling to grasp the full vision of the calling that God had for us, I asked God for more opportunities to impact lives. Though small, this event greatly impacted me to see that sometimes, it’s not about the numbers or perceived impact that we make on the world around us. The poor, the meek, the lowly, have a special place in God’s heart, and when we are used by Him to light these small candles in dark places, we must count ourselves blessed and privileged.

 

Yesterday, I received an email from the organisers who had collated the evaluation from the parents.

“The feedback was excellent and the session was very helpful to them!”

 

When asked what they had learnt and what they would apply into their family life, some of them said,

“I learnt that encouraging my child is very important”.

”I should encourage and support my child in what he wants to do in life.”

”Creativity & imagination is useful & important, I learnt the importance to let my child develop his own creativity and imagination”·

I was blessed by these parents, blessed to see how privileged I was, blessed to suddenly become overwhelmed with gratitude to my parents, whom I am always so quick to be critical towards. And I saw how blessed I was to have Cliff there too. The talk was in Sembawang, halfway round the country and far away from our home. I had told him he would be better off taking the afternoon off alone to rest, but there he was, sitting and listening, taking photos of me, helping me with the IT glitches, slightly sweaty from having lugged 30 copies of my books for the parents and a heavy laptop, being the best cheerleader, friend and husband I could ever ask for. My friends say you are so secure in your leadership and self, that you never need to grapple with envy or inadequacy, because you are simply committed to husband-ing me and being my shepherd, helping me grow into the calling that God has placed upon our lives. At the end, I was exhausted, but I was so thankful for the time spent there.

 

 my IT superhero

 

Thank you God, for the little opportunities you give to us to make a difference.