When I saw the number on my ringing phone, I got worried. I knew unless it was something important, or critical like the last time he was hospitalized, Zhou yeye would not call me during my work hours.
“Wei Jia, zhe shi Zhou yeye ah… Jin tian wan shang jiao ni de xian sheng lai gen won a mian bao.”
“Hello! Wai Jia? This is Zhou yeye… Tell your husband to come pick up some bread from me tonight, okay?”
I was relieved. Lately, once a week at work in the late afternoon, I would receive his phone call, telling me to ask Cliff or myself to pick bread up from him at his usual spot, at the dirty steps of the train station near our home where he busks with a harmonica. Sometimes I would look at Cliff with a little sigh, to which Cliff would always reply enthusiastically, “We should take it!”
Every week, Zhou yeye receives bread from the community centre or passers-by near his home. He is “terrified of bread” though (he has grown tired of years of eating bread from passers-by- what he really enjoys is a hot meal of rice and vegetables), so he gives them to us. About a month ago before we left for Canada, Zhou yeye gave us a shopping voucher a passer-by gave to him, “I think you guys have more use for it. Take it.” We tried to give him in cash what the voucher was worth, but he refused, “I’m not selling it to you, I’m giving it to you.”
Over the past few months, especially since returning from the slums of Manila, I have been struck by the dark face of poverty, and also the startling solution to it. I am learning, that the cure to poverty isn’t necessarily more money or more material goods- the heart (or stomach, for that matter) is never fully satisfied by things of this world. I am learning, that perhaps, what truly satisfies and what truly makes one rich, is the opportunity to give.
It was Cliff who taught me, “When you receive something from someone who is ‘poor’, you are humbling yourself and giving him a chance to give. You are empowering him, and giving him dignity. So it is important to accept what they give you.”
However uncomfortable it might make us feel. Or embarrassed, if ever.
Most of us would have refused the bread or voucher. A few passers-by stopped to stare at us when Zhou yeye took out the three packets of fresh loaves for us, telling us quite jubilantly to enjoy the red-bean, coconut and sweet breads he had collected that week. “There is a bakery newly opened near my home- when they have leftovers, they give some to me. I don’t like bread, but I know you do. So take it home and enjoy it!”
There was a jaunty rhythm to his happy voice.
And enjoy it we did. We kept a loaf for ourselves, and gave the other two away.
Week after week, this happened.
It then began to dawn upon me, that we all have a little bit of excess in our lives. And if we are bold enough to share it, our little excess could fill a need of someone else.
Cliff and I have always been strong believers of giving out of a heart of sacrifice. So, we’ve often been a little troubled by giving away what we don’t want. There is a certain power in the sacrificial element of giving. Without sacrifice, giving can often be out of salving a selfish heart to ease a troubled conscience, or out of convenience. The element of sacrifice unlocks a profound power that translates into a love spilled out, and poured over. So I’ve always been a little troubled by Community Chest boxes next to cashiers filled with spare change, campaigns telling people to donate a dollar a day, projects telling people that there loose change can make a difference to a dying child somewhere far away. It is not wrong- it can, in fact, be quite effective in raising funds. After all, a little bit does go a long way. It’s just something about the subtle sell-point of convenience that makes me shift in my seat.
True giving, with sacrifice, must cost you something that’s what Cliff and I have always believed, though we do not impose this view on others, and do not condemn others for thinking or doing otherwise. It is a personal stand, something which deeply compelled us to give all, not 10%, not 20% and not 50% of the money from our weddings to a cause we believed in.
Yet that day I saw a different facet of giving, which seemed so obvious and yet so new. I saw that with some thought and consideration put into our excess, we could, too, make a difference into someone else’s life. The key in this giving, though, is thought. Zhou yeye thought of us and remembered that we like bread, so his bread filled a need in our lives. We love bread. Before our 2nd wedding, a friend gave me her voucher to get my hair done. She thought of me and remembered I could do with something like that given our limited budget and my frayed hair-ends, so her voucher filled a timely “need” in my life. No matter how rich or poor you are, you always have something a little extra, something someone else needs a little bit more than you.
Rich or poor then becomes merely relative. If I have excess food I hate to eat, I am still poor; and if I have little that I love but I can freely give away, then I am rich.
So then, our wealth is determined by what we can let go, what we can be content with, and not by how much we actually have. By receiving from Zhou yeye, what the world sees as a “poor” man, he had became rich.
“When you gather the grapes of your vineyards, you shall not glean it afterward; it shall be for the fatherless, and the widow.” Is there something you have extra in your home that could be a blessing to somebody else? But I emphasize the thought factor in this. After all, it is only to one’s personal benefit to spring clean one’s home and put old rags and unwanted, soiled goods in the Salvation Army. No, what I am saying is looking at what you have, defining your boundaries, thinking of someone who could do with something you may not really need, to fill something in their lives. If we all shared a little love, this world would be a warmer place. Nonetheless, sacrifice brings a different dimension to love, still. Giving something extraneous away is vastly different from giving away something dear to one’s heart.
But little by little, we can all make a difference.
I learnt something from Zhou yeye that day. I am learning, that by receiving from what the world calls “the poor”, we can make them rich. The value in social enterprise, job creation and skill upgrading is then not merely the creation of a salary, but the creation of dignity, empowerment and inner wealth. So we ignored the raised eye-brows of passers-by and very happily accepted the three loaves of bread, wrapped carefully in a grey, crinkled plastic bag.
On my way to work two days ago, I bumped into Zhe Ping, the cleaning lady at my office whom I had given some Chinese New Year goodies to previously. She smiled at me, beaming, and told me in mandarin, “That lady often buys me breakfast in the morning.” She pointed to a colleague walking within my line of sight. It shocked me, really, having had stepped on the toes of this colleague who had given me the impression she was off-limits, unkind, and aloof. I had a great mindset shift that morning- she had shown me, that by putting thought into buying an extra set of breakfast for Zhe Ping when she bought hers, she had made a big difference to someone else’s life. Zhe Ping is hardworking, working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, with one half-day off. For that, she earns a meager salary, and a daily breakfast blessed by someone else means more leeway for her to spend elsewhere.
There is some excess in all of our lives. It could be loose change, a spare shirt, some extra groceries lying around at home. What brings life and love into these excess items, is not the convenient act of relief of getting rid of these items, but the thought put into thinking of someone whose life could use that need. That little act of giving could start or build a relationship, and send some love into someone else’s life.
So think of someone today. Be it the cleaning lady at your office, a busker you often pass by along your way to work, your domestic helper, or your fix-it technician. Ask for their names, ask about their lives, and think of a need you could fill. And when it’s their turn to give to you, receive their gift, however small, with open arms too.
Be rich inside, and make others rich, too.
“ When you reap your harvest in your field, and forget a sheaf in the field,
you shall not go back to get it;
it shall be for the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow,
that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands.
When you beat your olive trees, you shall not go over the boughs again; it shall be for the stranger, the fatherless, and the widow.
When you gather the grapes of your vineyards, you shall not glean it afterward; it shall be for the fatherless, and the widow.
And you shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt; therefore I command you to do this thing.”
– Deuteronomy 24: 19-22