I think we both know, how we never can stay mad at each other for long.
Because of our intensities, strong-headedness and tenacity, friction from time to time is unavoidable. Yet, whenever we find ourselves stuck, and become for a moment, washed in frustration, an overwhelming sense of peace and love overwhelms us more. We just seem to know, we would work things out. Our prayer has always been for every conflict to bring us closer, by knowing and understanding more of each other.
That day when we were -both- sad, I spent the night remembering the things you do for me.
I just want to write, to remember the million little things you do for me that make life special:
– the little emails and text messages you send me at two, three or four o’clock in the morning when I’m working on my thirty-hour shift, just so I know someone is thinking of me. Your words of encouragement have come at times when I was so overwhelmed with hunger, fatigue and desperation after working more than twenty hours non-stop.
– how you drop by my place in the wee hours of the morning to jog or bike with me, even when you’re tired.
– how you show up for all the talks and speeches I’ve been invited to give at schools, churches and forums, no matter how far the place is, or how inconvenient it is for you. You always show up. It makes such a huge difference to me to see you at the front row cheering me on.
– how you always enjoy the food I make you, be it a simple breakfast of toast and peanut butter, french toast or a hearty meal of lagsagne or burritos. Your mum is an awesome chef and I’m not the best cook. Still, you eat as if it’s the best meal you’ve had for ages.
– how you say “I love you” in such a variety of ways- through email or text message or emoticons or hugs. Every single day.
– how you text me a morning greeting every day without fail, and bid me goodnight.
– how you always hold yourself back from kissing me because you want our wedding day to be that much more special.
– how you always, always hold my hand, in public or otherwise.
– how you always naturally carry my extra bags.
– how you never get mad at my family, even though they have persecuted you before. (They adore you now.)
– how you never get irritated when I call you past midnight because I can’t sleep or because I’m stressed.
– how you came to the airport at midnight when I returned from Florida from a medical conference and held up a pink neon sign which said: WELCOME WAI JIA, with my name written in rainbow colours. And you hugged and spun me around when I arrived, finally- as if you hadn’t seen me for years. As if that one week were an eternity. As if my leaving and arriving was of that much significance to you. As if no one was looking. I was so embarrassed but overwhelmed with love.
– how you volunteered to come to my workplace to have your eyes dilated and examined by me, because I am having difficulty in the Eye department learning the many new techniques. It is stressing me out so much, and you never fail to give me encouragement. You have always been my greatest cheerleader.
– how you always say “Take your time” while waiting for me. You have waited for me for hours on end at the hospital, without ever showing a tinge of impatience.
– how you always say what a joy it is to come and pick me up from hospital. (By that I mean taking the train from your workplace to mine, then accompanying me home, then taking the bus back to your place, because we both have no cars.)
– how you bought me a beautiful tall clay mug after I smashed my previous one by accident.
– how you write me cards and give me flowers for no reason at all, except to say words of appreciation.
– how you say I’m pretty, especially after my thirty-hour calls or after my thirty-hour flight back from Florida where I felt nauseated and giddy from the flight. My hair was matted, I was bespectacled and still you insisted I was. Having a sweet mouth will never be a girl’s complaint.
– how you love looking back and making scrapbooks and photo albums from our journey together. (I thought that was a girly thing but you seem to be way ahead of me when it comes to this.)
– how you walk on the outside of the road when you’re with me.
– how you open doors for me.
– how you never fail to pray for me whenever I’m upset, or stressed or in need of a friend.
– how you share your dreams and hopes and prayers with me.
– how you love to rub your chin stubble on the back of my hand.
– how you want to serve the poor together with me.
– how you forgive me, over and over. Even though I’ve hurt you.
– how, even though you’ve asked me before (you outrightly suggested it after writing to me for three months without even having met me), you say you want to do it right, and do it “properly” again, to make The Proposal special.
For the million and one ways you find to love me, even though I am so very hard to love.
It reminds me of why I chose you.
Thank you for loving me.