1st Day.

It was a simple procedure of setting an intravenous line in a relatively well defined vein and I didn’t succeed. I realize, that the journey to being good in anything will be riddled with failures and disappointments along the way.

Skills like that, however, thankfully, with practice, can be learnt.

On the other hand, it is things like being over-efficient and overly-driven which continue to drive us further and further away from our callings, and drive a deeper and deeper wedge between our proud selves and other human beings.

As we step out into the world, the spirit of this place tells us to climb higher and look farther, to associate with people “upwards” and not “downwards”, to give ourselves only the “best”. We go about our daily work with speed, fortitude and efficiency. But, do we stop to look into the eyes of someone else and step into their shoes for a moment? Do we stop to smile and peer into the hearts of the cleaners, nurses, patients and other people around us, take the trouble to learn their names and introduce ourselves? Do we go against the grain of the spirit of this efficiency-driven world to slow down and be, for a second, human?

“Hi, I’m Wai Jia. What’s your name? Thank you for helping me- it’s my first day at work.”

It is funny how people look shocked when they aren’t referred to by their profession or bed number. (I remember I hated it when people used to call me Medical Student. I have a name, you know.)

I am learning, that at work, being human and loving and kind requires making a choice. It requires making a thousand choices a day before we find ourselves waking up one day to find ourselves corpses.

At my first day of work today, I learnt about forgiving myself in my area of incompetence and giving myself space to learn and to grow, in spite of my inadequacies.

And I learnt, that it is our choices to persevere, to grow and to love, to see others as precious beings, and less so our abilities, which truly make us who we are.

(Practice makes perfect. I’ll try again tomorrow.)