I used to hate birthdays when I was younger- mainly because it was in February and people forgot it often. It was too early in the year for people in new classes to really get to know you enough. My family isn’t into parties.
When I turned 21, things changed. A crazy bunch of friends knocked on my door at noon, whooshed me into a car blindfolded after putting a sack over me (so much for trying to simulate kidnap), and surprised me in a glasshouse cafe where everyone was waiting for me, with a self-written song to my then favourite tune of Yellow by Coldplay.
Birthdays have never been the same since.
This year I wanted to celebrate it with everyone I know. I wanted to thank the people who matter to me in my life because each of you have sown into it. I turn 24 on the 24th of February this year. It also happens to be my zodiac year. But it’s too close to the final exams and also in the week of my book launch, so…
… I’m celebrating it tomorrow. With everyone I know. Yes, everyone is invited.
This year, some rules from last year’s gathering still apply. One, no presents. I’ll be honest with you to say gifts do make me incredibly happy, except I didn’t want everyone who came to feel obliged to get something for me- after all, it’s my way of saying thank you for being a part of my life. I know my die-hard present-giver friends are already plotting something, and that’s enough for me.
Last year, I wanted many things. After my injury, I wanted a new saddle, then new gloves and a bicycle-trainer. I needed a new helmet and glasses as well. As the year went by and I never got the things I needed (namely because every time they went on offer, someone snapped it up first), I realised I never really needed them in the first place. I eventually got used to my present saddle, and realised I don’t enjoy stationary cycling enough to warrant a bicycle training contraption.
I learnt, the important things in life can’t be bought.
Looking back, however, I see the time my friends spent with me as I nursed my injury, see the encouragement they gave to me and the words of affirmation they lavished on me to spur me on, and realise that is what I cherish the most. Memories of crazy-early morning cycling through the city as if we owned the world, of spontaneous lunches and lazy swims, of over-the-phone prayers and long letters… made 23 worthy to remember.
But 24 is soon here, and will soon be over.
I learnt a lot being 23. I learnt about the importance of clinging loosely to everything (like sports for example), about the importance of loving myself (this was hardest to come to terms with), and about the importance of making decisions.
Turning 24, means all of those things and more. It means embarking on a new mission, to seek out the expanse of what being a grown-up and a woman means. Maybe I could still hide behind being a Big Girl while being 23. But 24 is a Woman’s age. I will graduate this year. My second book will be out this year and I will be talking to the press. I will take care of real patients and earn my own pay. I am going to Africa myself after my exams. There’s nothing girly about that anymore.
Still, I can’t quite bring myself to let go of two things- falling in love and learning to drive are just too crazy to do. I would gladly try for another triathlon (injury-free of course), gladly take 3 flights to a remote part of Africa (that will true, by the way), but falling in love is too much of release and driving is too much of control for my own comfort.
Those are things I must learn.
But for now, for tomorrow, I’m just thankful for those of you who’ll be there. For those of you who would put aside Chinese New Year celebration plans on a weekend night to make your way down to an out-of-the-way cafe- restaurant just to spend a night with me. There’s a programme lined up, I’ve been dead tired trying to organise this thing together, and I hope you will leave more inspired and hopeful with the things of this world.
So yea, I love gifts. Bring one if you want. But more than that, I love a handwritten card, love you coming down and allowing me to share my life with you.
Just friends, good music, simple food, and a lot of laughs. Ice-cream, rainbow-coloured sprinkles and heartfelt sharing.
I just want to thank each of you for being a part of my life. Thank you.