* I am obviously on a writing spree- too many thoughts on this holiday season!
They say winter is essential, because it is the time for the ground to rest, for it to fallow and be still before another busy spring and summer and harvest time. In his book Pilgrims, missionary doctor Dr Tan Lai Yong writes that it is in winter that one observes certain farmers in China carrying buckets of water up dangerously steep slopes in a determined attempt to water what looks like barren ground. They do so, because they know it is only in winter that the roots of a certain crop grow deep, and these roots are necessary for the saplings to grow strong later on.
This has been a winter season for me, both physically and spiritually. Physiotherapy comes with frost.
Aunty Ay told me, “I’m quite sure God’s hand was in your training. Triathlon was a way of getting you back in good health. Once you were well, that season ended. Now however, is a time of reflection, of taking stock of all the lessons you’ve learnt thus far. I’ve noticed a pattern in your participation in sports- it’s comes in seasons. But I also notice that every time you enter winter, you also come back stronger when spring arrives. It’s not a vicious cycle. It’s an upward spiral. So take heart, and heed your lessons learnt well.”
I could see where Aunty Ay was coming from. Last season when I was biking, I learnt many things about Faith. In this season, I am learning many things about Grace.
In my last physiotherapy session, my physiotherapist suggested that I tore so many muscles so badly due to an incorrect use of my cycling muscles. “From the way you cycle, I can see you’re not maximising all your muscle groups so a lot of strain is placed on your quadriceps and hamstrings. Definitely not ideal. I need you to work on those extra muscles you’ve not been using.”
It then occurred to me: In the same way, does God, in His love, put a halt in our lives at some point because he needs us to work on certain undeveloped areas before we can return stronger? I know sometimes I go so fast that I neglect certain areas of my life, and God can sometimes use illness, difficulties or simply a season of winter to interrupt my busyness, so I am forced to address those spiritually-deficient areas and strengthen those muscles needed to be a better person. Perhaps sometimes, it is only when we stop that we can actually reflect, pray and work properly on ourselves, be it in areas of developing patience, grace or learning to surrender our impure motives.
When I had injured my gracilis muscle (among other things), and was forced to stop, I was able to free my mind to reflect upon the importance of Grace, and the importance of depending more on God’s strength instead of my own flesh.
I suspect, the reason why I use my muscles incorrectly is because I didn’t grow up cycling. I only learnt how to cycle less than 2 years ago. Similarly, I believe some of us have grown up without ever learning certain lessons, such as exercising faith, being sensitive to others or God’s voice, or learning to trust God. These incidents which God allows to interrupt our journey then become milestones in our learning journey, seasons of winter to prepare us for a better harvest in the year ahead.
As we take time to stop and strengthen those muscles we never knew existed, and learn the lessons, skills and values we once were ignorant to, we then become more equipped and ready to take on harder battles ahead.
“Will I be able to race again next time? I mean, not anytime soon, but in future?”
“Of course. You’re doing well. And next time, you’ll know how to do it properly so you can come back stronger. Just, don’t make the same mistake twice. Continue with physiotherapy faithfully and don’t take short cuts.“
I suppose, when one fails to use the opportunity given to strengthen our weaker spiritual muscles, and learn the lessons we were meant to learn, we could very well injure ourselves in the same place, and that injury would be much more serious.
“Remember, take this time to rest well and continue with physiotherapy. Because if you’re too eager to jump back into your previous routine, you could put yourself back to square one.”
I suppose, when God tells us to stop and reflect, we really must.
So, if like me, you’re caught in winter and anxious to run ahead again, pause and remember the importance of this season. Take time to be watered, and let your roots grow deep. Because surely, spring and summer will come again.