The explosion startled me.
Just days ago, I skidded downhill and fell by the wayside, bleeding from an unexpected burst tyre.
Just two weeks post-race, my back tyre burst thrice in 3 days. My heart sank. This was no unlucky streak, but pointed to a deeper problem- that my bike wheel was faulty. Multiple bike mechanics couldn’t fix the problem.
As I let out a deep sigh, I began to tear as I marveled at how I even finished the race then. I shuddered to think what might have happened had my tyre burst on that slippery race day morning.
To have made it to the finish line— felt like a miracle.
At once, I remembered a conversation I had with my 6-year old—
“We prayed so hard for sunshine and still, it poured. Do you think maybe God doesn’t listen?”
“But He does!” Sarah-Faith quipped.
“Ah, maybe He ignored us?” I offered suggestions.
“Mama,” she said, “We only ignore mean people. Why would God ignore you?”
“So, how come God didn’t answer our prayers, Sarah-Faith?”
“I dunno, Mama.”
“I think,” I bit my lip, “ Maybe it’s cos sometimes He knows what’s best for us. Even when we don’t know it yet.”
When I look back at the race, a significant milestone for me regaining confidence after becoming a mom, only now do I realize how helpful the rain was- how it unleashed a sense of conquest in me. It made me go faster, stay cooler.
I learnt, that sometimes, God may not answer the prayers we ask for, but He accomplishes His purposes in the end- for our good.
When I think about all that could’ve gone wrong on race day because of my faulty wheel, the participants who fell out… I know it’s by God’s grace that I even made it to the finish line.
I’m learning- that even though my heart is breaking at the thought of needing to lay down my bike and surrender triathlon again, even if I won’t buy new wheels because they cost a bomb, even if He doesn’t give us what we pray for and I have to let this go again… He knows what’s best for us.
He gives and takes away, for our good, always. Even if it wrings our hearts dry of tears…
… For the sake that we might finish the race, the one race, that truly matters in the end.